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Thursday, June 02, 2005

I'll take it in $1 bills, please

Four months after Bay Area Parent Magazine said it was interested in one of my story ideas, the check arrived in the mail. This is the first income I have earned since 2002 (my year-long stint at a local TV show was a non-paying, I'd-like-to-get-back-into-TV-job).

Anyway, this is a real check. It's for a real $450. Part of me wants to go to the bank and cash it so that I can hold the actual $450 worth of grubby bills in my hand. To feel the weight and importance of this $450. Sure it's a fraction of our monthly expenses. It can't pay the mortgage. It can't pay off my student loans. It can barely cover a trip to the vet. But it's wonderful.

I keep dreaming of fun ways to spend it. I hate for it to just get dumped into the checking account so that its identity is erased as it blends in with the other banking ins and outs. It should purchase or pay for something with grand importance, something decadent. Not just seemingly unimportant trips to Costco, the supermarket, or Target.

I've picked this rectangular piece of paper up and admired my name typed on the front. I want Father in Chief to scan it, so that once it is spent, there is actual proof that it existed in the first place.

Sort of silly that this little piece of paper and its value means so much to me. I suppose it's the non-monetary value that means the most. I worked so many hours on that story that I probably end up making $6 an hour, after we pay taxes on it. But it doesn't matter. It felt great to decide to go after something, and follow through. Not one of those, I should take the GRE, apply to grad school, get my masters, get my MBA, study Spanish, learn HTML, master the Millennium Cookbook, become a better belly dancer ambitions. This was the real deal.

And now that I've got the goods to prove it, I'm ready for the sequel.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:49 PM

    Congratulations! Maybe buy something writing related to further fuel your momentum in this direction.
    I just bought and am reading "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott. Great book for writers.