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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Blog Book Tour: It's a Boy!

When I was pregnant I really wanted a girl. But deep down, I knew I was having a boy. And after my 21-hour labor produced a BOY, my heart sank a teeny bit. But now that I know HIM, I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Andi Buchanan, author of "Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It" and "Literary Mama: Reading for the Maternally Inclined," has edited a new book, called "It's a Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons."

As I read these essays, I can't help but feel as sense of comradery with these women--these mothers of boys. Some wanted girls and ended up with boys, while others had hoped for boys all along. I'm sure if I'd had a daughter, I would have been a bit smug about it. I know that there are women out there who pity the boy-bearing women--I even might have been one of them.

But I'm grateful for my son. Having him has pushed me outside my comfort zone, only to realize that it's very comforting to be here after all. One of the parts of Andi's essay in the book touched a nerve with me. Perhaps deep down, I'm a teeny bit relieved to have a boy because girls become women and many become moms. And, in turn, struggle. She wrote:
We want our daughters to do everything our sons do, yet as mothers ourselves, we know the difficulties and the hard choices that they will have to make when they grow up and choose to mother--the career options that dwindle; the daily balancing act that exhausts; the kind of things our sons will never face, even as they become parents themselves. Perhaps it's easier to love our sons because there is no big secret, no truth we're withholding about the divided life of women. Perhaps we feel less conflicted about boys--love them more, believe they love us differently than our daughters do--because they will have such unconflicted, uncomplicated autonomy as men.

If Father in Chief and I have another baby, perhaps I'll secretly hope for another boy. Brothers. How cool would that be? Read the book introduction here.

3 comments:

  1. Anne M4:09 PM

    Very interesting. I'm 5 months pregnant and although we are not finding out the sex, we are both convinced it is a boy. Maybe if I rush out and read this book, I'll end up having a girl like I'm secretly hoping for :-)

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  2. I wanted a boy, was convinced I was having a boy, and was in absolute shock to have a girl. But I love, love, love it. I had o idea how addicted I would become to dressing her up. :^) I even decided that if my husband and I have another kid, I'd want it to be a girl. So, maybe each of us should step outside our comfort zone again and start wishing for opposite genders than what we already have. ;^) I think other people's boys are great, so I'm sure I'd thik my son were as well.

    On the more serious concern of daughters becoming women and possibly becoming mothers, the world is already easier for us than it was for our mothers, right? So maybe one day it won't be as big a concern as it is now.

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  3. Anonymous7:32 PM

    Just wait and see the struggle your feminist sisters have created for boys in the future. Just you wait and see. The inculcation of your boy has already begun.

    Feminism is a destructive hate movement and your boy will someday make this perfectly clear to you.

    America is an anti-male / pro-feminist country and you'll probably be one of those women that tries to make "HE" behave like a "SHE". That is the pity.

    American women are the most privileged group in the history of the world. They are the safest, the most pampered, and with the most options available to them of any group (including those horrible members of the "patriarchy") the world has ever seen. Despite this fact, their "voice" is now a shrill cacophony of loud complaints that is heard above all others.

    A feminist mother upset because she had a boy ... sickening culture we live in. SICKENING!

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