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Monday, September 05, 2005

The "Laziest Mother" award goes to...


I don't know what happens to my parenting skills whenever a grandparent comes to town. And I can only imagine what Toddler in Chief's grandparents must think of me whenever they come for a visit.

I am not normally a lazy parent. But when family is around, I deserve the laziest-parent award. My mother has been visiting for nearly two weeks and I'm getting lazier by the day. TIC asks for food and I ignore him. He wants help getting his cup off the table and I walk away. He cries for attention and I leave the relatives to their own devices to figure him out. I can't wait to get away, to fully ignore my child for days on end. It's like having a full-time nanny. And it's like the warm sun itself.

When TIC wakes up in the morning, I just let him cry until a someone goes to lift him out of his crib and change him out of his soggy diaper. I stay in bed for an extra 30 minutes. When I finally appear, I'm unapologetic.

I've even been honing my manipulation skills.

When asked if Father in Chief and I are thinking about another baby, I say: "if you lived here, then we'd probably already have another. It's hard when you don't have any family nearby." I've been trying to get my mother--along with any and every family member--to move here. I get so exhausted being the full-time parent without anyone to lean on, especially during business hours.

When I confessed this manipulation to Therapist Friend, she concurred. "If I had family nearby, I'd already have another baby," she said. "Shit, maybe I'd already have two more!"

And truth be told, this "special hands-on time" with TIC is a treat for the grandparents. And my laziness is temporory; it expires when we drop the relatives at the airport.

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