Boy, you look tired.
Gee, that's just what every woman wants to hear. I think that might be up there with, You know, your ass really looks big in those jeans. Anyway, as hard as it is to believe, those words are being uttered out of perfectly well-meaning people. I have been told this hideous fact three or four times in the past couple of weeks. Even if it is true (and I'm sure it is), why, why, why would you ever think that is something that a person wants to hear...ever? It's not! So don't say it, okay?
I try to imagine the real reason some normally kind people would want to share this information with me. I know my family has been through some horrific and stressful weeks and perhaps these people are trying to relay that they understand that these long hospitalizations and surgeries have taken not just an emotional toll on me, but also a real physical toll as well. They most certainly have. There must be some way to say essentially the same thing without making me feel like shit.
How about: I'll bet these long hospitalizations have taken a real toll on you emotionally and physically. Try to rest and take care of yourself too.
Now was that so hard?
Because let's face it. Nothing good comes out of hearing that you look terrible. I know I look terrible. I know that have dark circles that look like I forgot that eye shadow goes over the eye and not under the eye. And sadly, unlike the big ass comment where I might be able to remedy the situation with a change of pants, I can't erase the exhaustion. It's not like you just told me I have some broccoli stuck between my teeth and I can discreetly remove it. Those circles are there. They are going to be there. I know they are there. Now all you've done is remind me that you and everyone else knows they are there too. Can't we just pretend they aren't?
I know I yawn a lot. I know I'm forgetful. I know I'm over sensitive and emotional (just ask Father in Chief.) I know I'm totally exhausted. I know that I'm not very good at returning all of my email or telephone calls right now. Finally, I know that I'm not looking so good. And now all you've done is just confirm that it's not all in my head.