I was way off
Friday, January 28, 2005
What was I thinking? I ended a post yesterday with a comment about how a paycheck would be great. I'm not taking that statement back because I doubt many at-home moms would disagree. But I ended with a sense that it's all about money.
If it were really all about money, most of us would already be working with the kids in daycare. I was reading an article in the Wisconsin newspaper called the Appleton Post-Crescent called "Getting back to work: After years of diapers, stay-at-home moms return to workplace."
The article just reminded me something very important: for many women, going back to work "is less about economic necessity and more about finding an individual identity or realizing a dream."
Yes! That's it. How could that have escaped me, even long enough to write and publish that comment? It got me thinking about a post a couple of weeks ago, when Scolding Friend told me to get a life.
I guess so much of the time money makes us feel important. If someone pays us to do something, then it's worthy. If we do it because we want to (ie: writing this blog), then it is somehow not as worthy, even if it gives us a warm and fuzzy feeling. Warm and fuzzy is all good, but somehow it just doesn't have that same validity as a bump in the checking account balance.
It's like when I was in college and struggling with a food obsession. At the end of the day, I would look back and decide if it was a good day/good person or a bad day/bad person based on what went into my mouth. I think this is sort of the same thing. Only money is directly related to self worth, not food.
And that last item is where so many women are stuck. Many of the super amazing moms I know liked their jobs and their careers. They would like have those things again, just not full time. If you can figure out this trifecta--a way to get that warm fuzzy feeling, get some money, and get to be home with your kids--you'll be (to quote Dr. Seuss) the "winning-est winner of all." But, hey, if you only can manage two out of three, then you're be all right "98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed."
If it were really all about money, most of us would already be working with the kids in daycare. I was reading an article in the Wisconsin newspaper called the Appleton Post-Crescent called "Getting back to work: After years of diapers, stay-at-home moms return to workplace."
The article just reminded me something very important: for many women, going back to work "is less about economic necessity and more about finding an individual identity or realizing a dream."
Yes! That's it. How could that have escaped me, even long enough to write and publish that comment? It got me thinking about a post a couple of weeks ago, when Scolding Friend told me to get a life.
I guess so much of the time money makes us feel important. If someone pays us to do something, then it's worthy. If we do it because we want to (ie: writing this blog), then it is somehow not as worthy, even if it gives us a warm and fuzzy feeling. Warm and fuzzy is all good, but somehow it just doesn't have that same validity as a bump in the checking account balance.
It's like when I was in college and struggling with a food obsession. At the end of the day, I would look back and decide if it was a good day/good person or a bad day/bad person based on what went into my mouth. I think this is sort of the same thing. Only money is directly related to self worth, not food.
- Money = good
- No money = bad
- Warm fuzzy feeling = sort of good
- No money, no fuzzy feeling = really bad
And that last item is where so many women are stuck. Many of the super amazing moms I know liked their jobs and their careers. They would like have those things again, just not full time. If you can figure out this trifecta--a way to get that warm fuzzy feeling, get some money, and get to be home with your kids--you'll be (to quote Dr. Seuss) the "winning-est winner of all." But, hey, if you only can manage two out of three, then you're be all right "98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed."
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