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Friday, January 07, 2005

Finding the place in between

So who am I, Mother in Chief? I am an educated woman with a decent resume who wants to be home with my 20-month-old son. I love being a mom, his mom. But I am struggling with my identity. Like many moms who are at home full time with their kids, I want to work and continue being intellectual stimulated and challenged. Work should compliment my job as a parent, not replace it. A paycheck would be nice too.

It is common for people to gain self worth from the job they have and the money that subsequently appears in the checking account. I gave that up to be at home full time, and it continues to take effort to claim that self worth from other sources. At the end of the day, my house is a mess and my shirt is stained. But I take comfort knowing that I get to share all the little stuff with my son every day.

I am not going to tell anyone to put their kid in daycare so that they can get a job, and I am not going to tell anyone to quit their job to be a full-time parent. What I am going to do is talk about finding some other place in between.


  1. Anonymous8:55 PM

    Right On!! Let's figure a way.

  2. Identity Crisis Chick here, reporting for duty! ;^) Oh, I miss paychecks! It's sad to say, I know, but it's true. I mean why did I get three degrees if I am not going to use any of them?

    I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that I am the keeper of this part of my daughter's life. I know her better than anyone else. She won't remember it first-hand, and if I weren't here at home to experience all of her wonderful moments and achievements and personality quirks, they would be lost forever. That has to be worth something . . .

  3. Anonymous9:53 PM

    I can definitely relate. Looking back after 7 years juggling kids and "part-time" work (which is really time-and-a-half, because consulting and doing other stuff for pay does not make the loads of laundry or stacks of dishes disappear), I can say I have, happily, found the balance. Knowing my limits (I'm not capable of being a 24x7 mom), I had both my kids in daycare part time at various points, to give me the ability to work. It didn't matter to me that my paycheck barely covered the cost of day care -- to me it was worth it. And next year, with my youngest entering kindergarten, I'm poised to jump into a new career... but one that still allows me to be there when they get home from school. It can be done!