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Thursday, February 08, 2007

My new part-time job

The best way ensure success with my book project is to treat it as an actual job. Not some extra-curricular activity. Not time when I'm doing other important stuff, like building "roads" out of Play-Doh so that the Matchbox cars can get "stuck" in the "mud." I need to set myself up for success. This means carving out hours that I need to work. Every. Single. Day. Or at least three days a week. If I want to accomplish this, I need to treat it with the respect and attention it deserves. I love Sarah's idea of hiring a nanny, but there's something about that that seems decadent. But, again, this isn't a treat so that I can lounge around. This is so that I can work!

Yes, part of my hesitation is that feeling that hiring help is a decadence. Another part is that I have a hard time relinquishing control of my kids' lives. What they learn. Who they are learning from. This is partially why it took me so long to enroll Preschooler in Chief in preschool. When it's just me, I get to be the primary source of the things that fills my kids' heads. What songs they sing. What toys stimulate their brains. How they talk with other people. I guess I'm a bit of a control freak.

You see, since PIC started school, he has definitely picked up some new behaviors. His favorite new expression is, "No Fair!" He must either working through some frustrations of being in a new environment or just totally exhausted at the end of the day. The result is not fun. My mother in law, who is a preschool teacher in New York, emailed some thoughts:
My first inclination is to think he is seeing other behavior and he is modeling it...Either that, or the whole preschool experience is overwhelming or exciting him too much and he does not know how to come down after all the excitement...[S]ometimes kids start being obnoxious at home with parents after the first few weeks of school. They act like they are in charge.

That is most certainly happening here. And I wonder if hiring help for some of the other time would exacerbate the problem. Still, something's gotta give if my grand plan is going to come together. I just don't want it to happen at the expense of my kid's sanity. Although not pursuing my goals will definitely impact my sanity. And subsequently, my kids.

2 comments:

  1. I totally know what you mean about hiring some stranger person to come watch your kids. And about having to relinquish control. I hesitated for months before I finally got someone in. I was scared, for some irrational reason. The thing is, you aren't giving up any control at all. And your kids get to interact with a new person that they'll probably grow to love. It's such a great feeling to know that your kids are getting good care. I also think it's great your PIC goes to preschool. While he picks up some bad things along the way -- this seems to be inevitable -- I'd imagine he's getting great exposure to the world that is not home.

    Also, I don't think it's decadence to hire someone. I realize I'm a single mom so I need someone. But, I think your pursuing this novel is a great demonstration to yourself and your kids of how to take an idea and run with it. And actually, I'd think it were your good fortune to be able to hire a nanny! :-)

    One other aspect that's kinda cool about hiring a nanny is I like the fact I'm able to give someone a job. And what cooler job than to be able to hang out with my lovely little boy.

    Anyway, keep us posted on what you decide to do!

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