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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Where's the enthusiasm?

When family comes to visit, I love those little breaks from full-time parenting. And recently the breaks are even that much more appreciated because I'm totally exhausted and downright cranky from just being pregnant right now. My energy level is shot, my desire to play on the floor is nonexistent, and I really, really appreciate feeling like crap all alone, without toddler arms and legs jabbing me in the gut.

However, I realize this as I sit back and watch my mother read countless stories to Toddler in Chief that I don't have that kind of energy, well, ever. I'm sure the pregnancy has exacerbated my inability to be totally present with TIC, but there's something about watching other family be so excited with him that I feel sort of inadequate. My vocal level never quite reaches that same exuberance that my mom's reaches when she watches him play or accomplish some task. My cheers don't seem quite as authentic as the other onlookers when TIC poops on the potty. Is this just because no one can have this level of enthusiasm every day? Is this just because my kid's a novelty to these out-of-state relatives that they manage so much authentic emotion?

I don't know what it is, but it makes me feel like I'm not living up to the proper motherly standards, whatever those are.

6 comments:

  1. sweetie, that's what grandmas are for - to be even louder, happier and crazier than a kid's own mom. that's why little kids love their grandparents so much!! what you need to do is go take a much needed nap, spa trip or visit the bookstore while grandma is with TIC. that way you avoid hearing all the cheers that make you feel less motherly and you get some quality "me time." second pregnancies are seriously tiring.

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  2. Yes, it's a total grandma thing. I know because my own mom acts so motherly with my kids in a way that I don't ever remember her being with me and my sister.

    My only hope is that I'm not 70 before I get to be a grandma. That's my only regret with waiting until I was in my thirties to have kids. I hope I have the energy and health to spoil my grandkids rotten when I finally get some.

    Also, second pregnancies are just plain hard. You're tired and you've "been there, done that" so to speak. The magic is kind of gone along with your energy!

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  3. This is SO a relative/grandma thing. You kiddng? We're at this EVERY stinking day (and I mean that in the most positive light)--so using those voice inflections, and the cheers constantly? Impossible.

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  4. And don't forget, dear, you are going through a whole bunch of hormonal changes and you are sapped of energy, so all this is going to seem more than it is. :-)

    Besides, you don't want to be just like all the other moms. You are a great mom. Like, you cook great wonderful food for your child -- and i don't cook nearly as much as i should... so you see.

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  5. Gram'ma Sally6:03 PM

    Gram'ma here, I didn't have it when I had a toddler under foot and was pregnant with #2. Being Mama is a full time demanding responsibility. Being Gram'ma means I get to go home! Someday, you'll be in the Gram'ma shoes. Until then, cut yourself some slack and take Charlene's advice!

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  6. You should not feel inadequate!! It is hard to be a cheerleader every second of every day for anyone or anything.

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