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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I've run out of excuses--shit!

I'm about to venture out into the land of the living, the land of the working, the land of laptops and lattes. I hired childcare yesterday--just 10 hours a week--and while I'm totally excited, I'm a little worried about actually having the time to work. It's a lot of pressure. I know it doesn't make any sense. But recently, it's been so easy to not work because it's really impossible to work when you have a wee one pulling at the power cords under the desk and another one constantly demanding food and attention. But once the childcare starts, what excuse will I have?

I guess I have some fear and it is twofold--fear of failure (can I actually write a book?) and fear of rejection (will anyone want to publish my book?). I guess there are some other fears in there too... Am I organized enough to write a book? Am I organized enough to write the proposal? Will an agent want to represent me? I know I'm getting a little ahead of myself, and I will try to not let the potential downers thwart my enthusiasm for my project. There is much work to do. And with most of my writing, I will give a piece of myself away as I write and write and write. But saturating my work with myself does not necessarily equal success. I can still feel the rejection from my recent submission to from Brain, Child magazine, and it feels about as good as sunburn.

Regardless, I will push forward. I will persevere. I will feel good about working towards a goal that I believe in. And I'll try to remember that getting burned is something that happens sometimes when you venture out into the sun.

4 comments:

  1. Yay!!! That's great. The trickiest part is using that precious child-free time effectively. I'm excited for you. :-)

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  2. Exciting, for sure! Since I'm new to reading your blog, what is your new book going to be about? Good luck with everything!

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  3. FYI for any moms with sons who have the Thomas train set and trains: major recall, as some trains contain lead!

    RC2 Corp. Recalls Various Thomas & Friends™ Wooden Railway Toys Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard

    http://rjk.lcb.http.akamai-trials.com/recalls_Wood_0607.html

    http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml07/07212.html

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  4. Woo Hoo for childcare!! I'll give advice that I myself can't follow ;^) Just remember not to beat yourself up if every hour doesn't feel super productive. Sometimes something can come out of having done nothing . . . . right??

    I believe in you!!! And it doean't have a timeline or a deadline. ;^)

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