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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Dirty talk

Picture this: It's dark out, past my bedtime, and I'm out of the house without kids, without my hubby. I'm sitting in a bar, drinking a strawberry margarita, waiting for it to be time to go see the Barenaked Ladies at the Bill Graham Civic Center in San Francisco. I'm with a girlfriend and two people I've never met before--her unmarried guy friend and her sister.

Then it happened. I can't believe I did it. I swore I would never be one of those women. But I just couldn't help myself. I opened my mouth and I couldn't stop myself. I was talking about my kid's dirty diapers. In public. Hello? With people who don't even have kids. What is wrong with me?

I don't even remember how it came up. We were talking about something and my friend mentioned that I use cloth diapers. (So is it her fault for bringing up diapers in public?). Well, something happened, and I'm talking about how easy it is to wash them and how they're not gross or smelly and all the personal gratification that comes along with being a little kinder and gentler on the environment. But no one cares. No one wants to talk about your kid's shit. No one wants to think about it swirling around your washing machine. Especially not single, hip, childless people who live in San Francisco. I don't even want to talk about it. I should have been talking about the election, going out dancing, cool new bands, what I'm doing for the holidays. How about that book I'm working on? Anything but shitty diapers.

Anyway, it was disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself. And how many of you were hoping I was writing about that other kind of dirty talk?


  1. Well, I don't understand. People talk about what's going on in their lives. You happen to have a lot of diapers in your life. So? And besides, dirty diapers can be funny! I mean i'll never forget the time when yellow poop came squirting out the front of the baby bjorn spraying the sidewalk in front of me!!!

    I don't understand why we become so preoccupied with the perception of who we think we should or should not be. i mean who do we think we are? who are we?

    Silly us for being so judgemental in the first place!! Having a kid serves you right. You deserve to that woman!!! :-)

    So what sort of cloth diapers do you use, anyway?

  2. I have used cloth too....what kind do you like?

    (do you feel better now that someone cares? hehehehe!)

  3. I use Fuzzi Bunz and they rock. I had a diaper service with Toddler in Chief--they used Chinese prefolds, so far, I think insert diapers are way better.

  4. And to Swamps: Poop squirting onto the sidewalk in front of you?? ... Issac gets points for creativity on that one. It's amazing it had that much
    trajectory. Now that is a funny story. I wasn't even telling a funny story. If only.

  5. Anonymous1:41 PM

    I've done this so many times I can't even count anymore. Even today. At lunch. My mouth opened and I spouted about the urchin. To a table of co-workers. Single. Non-child. Co-workers.

    The fun of parenthood. It steals your mind. :-)

  6. I will admit. I DID think you would be talking about the other kind of dirty talk. :^)